telling ghosts to go

What does it mean when something is haunted? What exactly is a ghost? 

Is it when something from the past refuses to leave? Is it when something dies but doesn’t go?

It’s easy to talk about haunted places. A haunted house. A haunted building. We smile at those stories. We get excited. There is no stigma, no shame. But what about haunted people? Isn’t it true that, as people, our lives can become haunted things as well? The past can haunt the present. The past can steal the future.

Isn’t that what most of this is about? Something painful in our past? Something breaks or something dies and in living with the pain, we begin to live with ghosts. And by our choices, we either ask the ghosts to leave or we help them make a home.

If we can talk about haunted buildings, then we should be able to talk about haunted people. We should be able to put a hand up and say, “I’m not doing well” or “I need some help” or “Can we talk?”

Maybe we begin to ask the ghosts to leave when we begin to ask some other folks to join us in our haunted places. In the broken parts of stories. Our messes and our questions. To meet us, to know us, to help, to care, to listen.

Maybe we begin to help our friends become unhaunted when we let them know we’re not afraid of their pain. When we ask to really know them. When we ask to see inside. When we do our part to go beyond the distance and the smile, deeper to “who are you?” and “how are you?” and “are you okay?”

I have been a haunted house. I have had things die but stay and I didn’t know how to make them leave. And there were certainly times I didn’t want them to leave because they were beautiful. They were no longer real but they were beautiful. They were bridges to brighter days. I thought they were my dreams.

But reality is the best place to live. Reality is where healing happens. In the honest light and by the voices of our friends.

We all have our past. We all have our pain. We will all know ghosts from time to time. But if our life is like a building, then we should open our doors to let some people see inside. And into our darkest places - into those rooms that hold our fears and dreams - we will begin to walk together. Friends with hope like candles, telling ghosts to go.

- TWLOHA

alphabet

I did not come up with this!

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond, thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George, smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maude who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl.
P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie, embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorik who's head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

xo
Lucky

how to feel miserable as an artist

(Or what not to do.)

1 - constantly compare yourself to other artists
2 - talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on
3 - base the success of your entire career on one project
4 - stick with what you know
5 - undervalue your expertise
6 - let money dictate what you do
7 - bow to social pressures
8 - only do work that your family would love
9 - do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/investor asks
10 - set unachievable/overwhelming goals - to be accomplished by tomorrow

xo
Lucky

what has become of our future

I always heard about how big of an influence sex and feeling grown up is in the media, but it never really hit me just how fast kids are growing up these days until I heard it coming out of the mouths of two of my family members.

I'm scared. Literally scared for our future. I'm scared for the parents and children mostly.

Now, I consider myself to be a pretty modern 20 year old girl. I'm always on my smartphone and laptop, checking up on Facebook, and prefer to email or text instead of call people. Back when I was 12 or 13 though, I was a total noob, and I can safely admit that. I was computer illiterate other than when it came to looking stuff up on Google, didn't know how to text or send emails, and could barely work a digital camera. I didn't know what all the dirty slang words were, and I was lucky if I could get a guy to hold hands with me.

Kids these days scare the hell out of me.

The other day I was at my moms house and my 13 year old sister (8th grade) and my 14 year old cousin (9th grade) were chatting on the couch. I couldn't help but overhear what they were talking about.

BJ's. The clap. 69. A "hummer". Sexting. Abortions. Smoking blunts. Showing up drunk. Apparently this all came up at cheerleading tryouts (I'll let you guys draw your own conclusions from that).

Now, let's make a comparison to the things I used to talk about when I was 13.

Pokemon. Cartoons. Drawing. Swimming. So-and-so was holding hands with so-and-so. New shoes. THAT'S ABOUT IT.

What has happened to our future generations?! They're going to end up making shows called 9 years old and pregnant, the average age of parents is going to be 15, high school graduation rates are going to plummet, STD's are going to be on the rise, we'll have to start putting 5 year olds on the pill and drug dealers are gonna start selling crack to 8 year olds!

My sister was telling me about this one off and on friend she has who has shown up drunk to community dances, steals her 19 year old sister's ID to sneak into the seedy clubs we have downtown, has given 3 different guys blow jobs, has had sex with those 3 guys, and has smoked weed. And she hasn't even graduated ELEMENTARY SCHOOL yet. This girl has done more than me! The real kicker is when of the other kids in her class found out and asked her why at 13 years old she was doing all this, her only defense was "Fuck you, I'm FOURTEEN!" Apparently that one year suddenly makes it better, somehow.

The first thought that crossed my mind was "Where are this girls parents!?" because you're a product of your environment. I don't care what other explanations you have for it dear readers, but you are. There are exceptions to every rule, where sometimes people escape bad home life situations and turn their life around, and people can just as easily do the opposite and take a turn for the worse. With the stories I've encountered though, kids will almost always grow up to be just like their parents. If you grow up with your parents never being around, being drunk all the time and don't bother to check if you did your homework, do you really think an unsupervised kid is going to do their science project? Of course not. It's sad but true. I don't know where this girls parents are at, but I can pretty well guarantee they have no clue what she's doing. She must be looking for some sort of attention or validation that she isn't getting at home, so she has to reach out for other people to give her attention - even if all they want is a BJ.

The real question still remains though, who is REALLY to blame?

xo
Lucky

awkward moments

 Here's a list of some of the most awkward of awkward moments.

You know that awkward moment when:

you're in the middle of a story and realize it's pointless.

you buy tampons from a male cashier.

you call yourself fat and no one responds.

you sing a song lyric too early.

you insist on buying something for someone, but then you realize you don't have enough money.

you overhear someone talking about you, and they catch you eavesdropping.

when you sleep over at a friends house and wake up first, so you pretend to keep sleeping until they wake up.

the thoughts in your head go over much better than they do in real life.

you see someone you kind of know, and don't know whether or not to say hi or hug them.

you're having sex and the dog jumps up on the bed with you.

when a cop car is driving behind you.

when you reply, "Your mom!" to a friend, only to then remember your friends mom is dead.

the automatic sliding doors don't open and you're almost 2 inches away.

you realize someone near you is staring at your boobs.

when you say "That's gay," in front of someone who is actually gay.

a guy has nicer hair than yours.

you're standing in an elevator full of people you don't know and it's eerily quiet.

you get a haircut you hate and have to pretend you like it.

you hold the door open for someone and they use a different door.

you realize you have no idea what you're talking about.

you have no friends in a certain class and the teacher tells you to "partner up".

you're at a friends house and their parents start yelling at them.

you watch a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on.

you trip over your feet on the street and have to act like nothing happened.

someone types "your welcome," instead of "you're welcome"... bitch I don't own a welcome.

your mouth is overstuffed with food and you feel a sneeze coming on.

you put on too much lotion.

you start coughing like you're about to die and you turn all red, and everyone just stares.

you run into the person you're ignoring.

you're introduced to someone you've already met before.

you finish painting your nails and everyone and their grandma wants to text you.

you see the person in the car next to you picking their nose.

nobody responds to your texts and you start thinking the world hates you.

you're alone in the car with your friends parents.

you tell a funny story but no one laughs, so you have to say "You had to be there..."

your boyfriend and ex-boyfriend are in the same room together.

a song you heard ages ago suddenly becomes popular.

you text someone a freakin' novel and all they reply is "K".

you get that weird shiver and people look at you like a freak.

you arrive late to class and everyone stares at you.

you think you're home alone so you start going crazy and your mom's in the next room.

you clog the toilet at your friends house.

someone deletes their comments on Facebook so you look like you're talking to yourself.

someone tells you a joke that they heard from you.

you hear a whore call someone else a whore.

you feel a sneeze coming on, you make that weird face and don't end up sneezing.

your crush tries to hook you up with one of their friends.

you overhear a 13 year old talking about their sex life.

you choke on your own saliva.

you're yelling at someone and you mess up a word.

you look like a sexy motherfucker but your camera doesn't agree.

you just finish painting your nails and you have to touch something.

someone suggests you and your crush should go out.

you accidentally make eye contact with a guy when you're eating a hot dog.

mid-argument you realize you're actually wrong.

people sing you happy birthday and you don't know what to do.

you accidentally text your mom something that was meant to go to your boyfriend.

you're in a public bathroom and realize there's no toilet paper.

you walk into a room and forgot why you went in there.

you start spacing out, and then realize you were staring at someones crotch the whole time.

you realize the person you're waving at isn't actually your friend.

you wish someone a Merry Christmas and they're Jewish.

the doctor asks you if you're sexually active in front of your mom.

you can't understand what someones saying even after they've repeated it 4 times.

you say goodbye to someone, then both start walking the same way.

you realize you've been pronouncing a word wrong your whole life.


Enjoy :)

xo
Lucky

never judge a book by it's cover

Earlier this evening I was trying to kill some time so I was fiddling around on StumbleUpon and I came across a two question test that really made me stop to think.

*Be sure to read both questions before you scroll down to read the answers.

Here's the first question:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had eight children already, three were deaf, two were blind, one mentally retarded and she had syphilis, would you recommend she have an abortion?

And the second question:

It's time to elect a new world leader and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates:

1 - Associates with crooked politicians and consults with astrologists. He's had 2 mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 - 10 martinis a day.

2 - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

3 - He is a decorated war hero. He doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer, is a vegetarian and has never committed adultery.

Who would you vote for? Make your choice before you scroll down.



















Candidate 1 is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate 2 is Winston Churchill
Candidate 3 is Adolf Hitler

And by the way, if you answered YES to the first question, you just killed Beethoven.

Crazy isn't it? Just goes to further prove that you should never judge a book by it's cover, regardless how certain you are of your judgements. You might just surprise yourself.

xo
Lucky

sagittarius

Now I'm not a huge believer in the zodiac or horoscopes, but sometimes I wonder if there's any truth to the predictions or it's some crazy nut stringing a sentence together trying to sound ominous and wise. No, I don't think our futures are planned out by the stars, but perhaps the time of year we're born influences some of our personality traits.

Generally, my horoscopes are way off, entirely too vague or just completely too generic, however they usually make for an entertaining read. I've recently started following a zodiac blog on tumblr whose focus is on zodiac signs and their traits, just for something new to read.

Well, I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when I find that a lot of the posts are actually pretty spot on about me.

It makes me wonder, is there really something to astrology? Or is it just a bunch of hokey?

Here's a little something I found online after doing some research about the Sagittarius zodiac:

"A Sagittarius woman lacks tact and her flat, on-the-face statements may make you feeling like running away from her. Then, suddenly, she will say something so charming that you will feel as if you are on the seventh heaven. There, you go again! You will be trapped in her charm once more. Once you have been enamored by a Sagittarius girl, you will be staying with her for a long time. She is pleasant, friendly, outspoken and very talkative. Her forthrightness comes form the fact that she has no illusions about the world.

She sees it exactly as it is and says what she sees. At times, you may wish that she were not so honest. But then, she would be like any other girl, wouldn't she? In all probability, you will not like it. A Sagittarian female is very optimistic, but she is not irrational. She will judge the entire situation as per the facts, analyze its probable outcome and still believe that things will get better. Usually, she is very calm and composed. However, when you become rude to her or offend her, she may become like the fire-spitting dragon.

Sagittarius women are quite independent and love their freedom. They are attached to their family, but not too much. If you want to get something done from a Sagittarian female, just ask her; don't order. She will never ever do it. She is your better half and don't you dare forget that. On the other hand, she doesn't want a sissy for a husband or boyfriend. He has to be a real man, who has his ego and won't stand for nonsense. So, you will be expected to balance politeness with firmness.

I know it's difficult - but then, since when was winning someone easy. With a Sagittarius girl, you will never have to guess. She says what she thinks and how she acts shows what she feels. This bluntness may cost her heavily at times, even to the point of ending the relationship. Still, she would act as if she's not hurt at all and it is just one of the many harmless flirtations she's had. People will even believe all this, while inside she will be weeping and nursing her wounds. All this time, she will be analyzing what went wrong and when.

She is very sentimental and emotional, though it seems otherwise. It just that, where her feelings are concerned, she becomes too shy. After marriage, your house will always remain sparkling clean, even if you don't have a maid to do that. She cannot stand sloppiness, it doesn't appeal to her sensibilities. She may not be too good at cooking, but she will also not burn your egg every day. A Sagittarian girl may pass the most sarcastic comments when she is angry, but she will forget the resentment soon enough. Then, she won't understand why are you so upset."

http://www.iloveindia.com/astrology/sun-signs/sagittarius/woman.html

Damn. Did I write an autobiography in a past life or something?

What do you think about the zodiac signs and astrology? Do you believe in horoscopes?

Let me know!

xo
Lucky

it's never been more clear to me

Epiphany. Moment of clarity. Realization. Whatever you call it, I've recently had one.

I think deep down I've always known that a 9-5 job, workin' for the man type deal isn't for me. I hate being confined. I hate knowing I have to be somewhere at a certain time for a certain amount of time. It's just not the way my life is meant to be lived, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I don't know if it's because any of the places I've worked before have been deathly boring and completely unchallenging, or it's just the structure of those workplaces I don't like. I think I could deal with coming in and working if it was something I ENJOYED doing. Something where I'm utilizing my talents and skills on a daily basis. Not standing cashing out people's groceries, asking "Would you like fries with that?" and certainly not kissing the asses of rude customers who speak to me like I have no intelligence when all I want to do is tell them where to go and how to get there. Nah sayin'?

Frankly, I want to work when I want to work. I want to leave when I want to leave. If I'm just not feelin' it one day, fuck it I'm stayin' home. I want to have the power and the freedom to tell ignorant fucks to get lost. Unfortunately, that's not the way life works, and generally people like me end up working for sour puss assholes who's had life stiff them one too many times and are forever bitter for it. Why? Because everyone needs money.

This is why I've decided to start selling paintings. Just as a trial thing. I've given them as gifts to family and friends for birthdays and Christmas presents and they all seem to really like them. Now, let's see if they like them enough to buy them. ;)

I'm going to start out cheap to get people's attention, give them a taste of what I can do. Maybe they'll tell a friend or 5. Then, depending on how popular it is and how much my skills improve, I can maybe start to charge a little more.

I think this would be the perfect job for me! I'm working for myself, I can take a break whenever I want, and if I don't feel inspired one day, I don't have to worry about explaining it to a boss that just doesn't get it. It's a win win. Well, unless the business loses. Hopefully, I can really do something with this and things work out.

'Ta for now,

xo
Lucky

random thought of the day

If you watch the movie Jaws backwards, it's about a shark that throws up so many people they have to open a beach.

xo
Lucky