telling ghosts to go

What does it mean when something is haunted? What exactly is a ghost? 

Is it when something from the past refuses to leave? Is it when something dies but doesn’t go?

It’s easy to talk about haunted places. A haunted house. A haunted building. We smile at those stories. We get excited. There is no stigma, no shame. But what about haunted people? Isn’t it true that, as people, our lives can become haunted things as well? The past can haunt the present. The past can steal the future.

Isn’t that what most of this is about? Something painful in our past? Something breaks or something dies and in living with the pain, we begin to live with ghosts. And by our choices, we either ask the ghosts to leave or we help them make a home.

If we can talk about haunted buildings, then we should be able to talk about haunted people. We should be able to put a hand up and say, “I’m not doing well” or “I need some help” or “Can we talk?”

Maybe we begin to ask the ghosts to leave when we begin to ask some other folks to join us in our haunted places. In the broken parts of stories. Our messes and our questions. To meet us, to know us, to help, to care, to listen.

Maybe we begin to help our friends become unhaunted when we let them know we’re not afraid of their pain. When we ask to really know them. When we ask to see inside. When we do our part to go beyond the distance and the smile, deeper to “who are you?” and “how are you?” and “are you okay?”

I have been a haunted house. I have had things die but stay and I didn’t know how to make them leave. And there were certainly times I didn’t want them to leave because they were beautiful. They were no longer real but they were beautiful. They were bridges to brighter days. I thought they were my dreams.

But reality is the best place to live. Reality is where healing happens. In the honest light and by the voices of our friends.

We all have our past. We all have our pain. We will all know ghosts from time to time. But if our life is like a building, then we should open our doors to let some people see inside. And into our darkest places - into those rooms that hold our fears and dreams - we will begin to walk together. Friends with hope like candles, telling ghosts to go.

- TWLOHA

nobody tells this to people who are beginners

I wish someone had told me.

All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap.

For the first couple years you make stuff, but it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not.

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

A lot of people never get past this phase; they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know that it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.

Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you finish one piece. It's only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.

And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I've ever met.

It's gonna take a while.

It's normal to take a while.

You just gotta fight your way through.

- Ira Glass

xo
Lucky

how to feel miserable as an artist

(Or what not to do.)

1 - constantly compare yourself to other artists
2 - talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on
3 - base the success of your entire career on one project
4 - stick with what you know
5 - undervalue your expertise
6 - let money dictate what you do
7 - bow to social pressures
8 - only do work that your family would love
9 - do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/investor asks
10 - set unachievable/overwhelming goals - to be accomplished by tomorrow

xo
Lucky

it's never been more clear to me

Epiphany. Moment of clarity. Realization. Whatever you call it, I've recently had one.

I think deep down I've always known that a 9-5 job, workin' for the man type deal isn't for me. I hate being confined. I hate knowing I have to be somewhere at a certain time for a certain amount of time. It's just not the way my life is meant to be lived, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I don't know if it's because any of the places I've worked before have been deathly boring and completely unchallenging, or it's just the structure of those workplaces I don't like. I think I could deal with coming in and working if it was something I ENJOYED doing. Something where I'm utilizing my talents and skills on a daily basis. Not standing cashing out people's groceries, asking "Would you like fries with that?" and certainly not kissing the asses of rude customers who speak to me like I have no intelligence when all I want to do is tell them where to go and how to get there. Nah sayin'?

Frankly, I want to work when I want to work. I want to leave when I want to leave. If I'm just not feelin' it one day, fuck it I'm stayin' home. I want to have the power and the freedom to tell ignorant fucks to get lost. Unfortunately, that's not the way life works, and generally people like me end up working for sour puss assholes who's had life stiff them one too many times and are forever bitter for it. Why? Because everyone needs money.

This is why I've decided to start selling paintings. Just as a trial thing. I've given them as gifts to family and friends for birthdays and Christmas presents and they all seem to really like them. Now, let's see if they like them enough to buy them. ;)

I'm going to start out cheap to get people's attention, give them a taste of what I can do. Maybe they'll tell a friend or 5. Then, depending on how popular it is and how much my skills improve, I can maybe start to charge a little more.

I think this would be the perfect job for me! I'm working for myself, I can take a break whenever I want, and if I don't feel inspired one day, I don't have to worry about explaining it to a boss that just doesn't get it. It's a win win. Well, unless the business loses. Hopefully, I can really do something with this and things work out.

'Ta for now,

xo
Lucky