i think i might be retarded - part two

In all honesty, what the fuck is the point of having someone in your life that's like that? It's not getting me anywhere. I can't tell her anything. I hardly see her. Why the fuck can't I just forget about her and move on with my life?


I know I'm stubborn as can be, but I've also "dumped" a friend for less than what she's put me through before. It just doesn't make any sense to me.


This girl has seriously done it all. Tried to get people to stop liking me, tried to get the guys I like to like her, fuck! Once she even tried to break me and my boyfriend up because she liked him!


WHAT IS MY FUCKING PROBLEM?!


Seriously, I must be retarded for keeping her around. I've sat back so many nights when she cancelled on me last minute and swore to myself that I was never speaking to her again or that I was never inviting her out to anything ever again. I tried to convince myself that she was dead to me a few times I think (or maybe that was just wishful thinking?).


I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should bother telling her that the friendship is over or just not talk to her at all. (If I don't text her first, she would never talk to me *RED FLAG #4865 SHE DOESN'T CARE*.)


Ugh. Why am I so pathetic?

xo
Lucky