telling ghosts to go

What does it mean when something is haunted? What exactly is a ghost? 

Is it when something from the past refuses to leave? Is it when something dies but doesn’t go?

It’s easy to talk about haunted places. A haunted house. A haunted building. We smile at those stories. We get excited. There is no stigma, no shame. But what about haunted people? Isn’t it true that, as people, our lives can become haunted things as well? The past can haunt the present. The past can steal the future.

Isn’t that what most of this is about? Something painful in our past? Something breaks or something dies and in living with the pain, we begin to live with ghosts. And by our choices, we either ask the ghosts to leave or we help them make a home.

If we can talk about haunted buildings, then we should be able to talk about haunted people. We should be able to put a hand up and say, “I’m not doing well” or “I need some help” or “Can we talk?”

Maybe we begin to ask the ghosts to leave when we begin to ask some other folks to join us in our haunted places. In the broken parts of stories. Our messes and our questions. To meet us, to know us, to help, to care, to listen.

Maybe we begin to help our friends become unhaunted when we let them know we’re not afraid of their pain. When we ask to really know them. When we ask to see inside. When we do our part to go beyond the distance and the smile, deeper to “who are you?” and “how are you?” and “are you okay?”

I have been a haunted house. I have had things die but stay and I didn’t know how to make them leave. And there were certainly times I didn’t want them to leave because they were beautiful. They were no longer real but they were beautiful. They were bridges to brighter days. I thought they were my dreams.

But reality is the best place to live. Reality is where healing happens. In the honest light and by the voices of our friends.

We all have our past. We all have our pain. We will all know ghosts from time to time. But if our life is like a building, then we should open our doors to let some people see inside. And into our darkest places - into those rooms that hold our fears and dreams - we will begin to walk together. Friends with hope like candles, telling ghosts to go.

- TWLOHA

alphabet

I did not come up with this!

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil, assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond, thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George, smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maude who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl.
P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie, embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorik who's head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

xo
Lucky

Sehnsucht

"You have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side who appears to be seeing what you saw - but at the first words, a gulf yawns between you, and you realise that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported ... All the things that have deeply posessed your soul have been but hints of it - tantalising glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear. But if it should really become manifest - if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself - you would know it. Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say, 'Here at last is the thing I was made for.' We cannot tell each other about it. It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want ... which we shall stilll desire on our deathbeds ... Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it - made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand."


xo
Lucky

nobody tells this to people who are beginners

I wish someone had told me.

All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap.

For the first couple years you make stuff, but it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not.

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

A lot of people never get past this phase; they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know that it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.

Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you finish one piece. It's only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.

And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I've ever met.

It's gonna take a while.

It's normal to take a while.

You just gotta fight your way through.

- Ira Glass

xo
Lucky

how to feel miserable as an artist

(Or what not to do.)

1 - constantly compare yourself to other artists
2 - talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on
3 - base the success of your entire career on one project
4 - stick with what you know
5 - undervalue your expertise
6 - let money dictate what you do
7 - bow to social pressures
8 - only do work that your family would love
9 - do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/investor asks
10 - set unachievable/overwhelming goals - to be accomplished by tomorrow

xo
Lucky

a letter to my body

Dear Body,

Seriously, what's your malfunction? 

I realize I don't always eat what I should, and I realize I don't always give you the right amount of sleep you require. I understand that you are currently dehydrated and "out of shape" so to speak, but come on now! I'm relatively healthy! There's no need to be cruel!

So I've been stressed out lately, so what? I've been stressed out before! There are some people who live with a constant level of stress in their day to day lives and they don't end up like me. Here I thought things were getting better and things were calming down, and then you decide to go and get all fucked up. REAL mature. 

I'm not 100% sure what's currently wrong with you, Stomach, but the doctor seemed to think it was gastric ulcers which may or may not be chronic. I've been taking the medication that was supposed to help me within a couple of days and as of a week later, they still don't seem to be helping. I wish you could just tell me what was wrong, Stomach. Not knowing what's really wrong is worrisome as the medication should be working. It only leads me to believe that there is something more serious or something completely different happening down there causing me so much pain. Why can't I figure this out? 

And on top of that, Throat you son of a bitch, YOU decide to get sore and make my voice sound all fucked up! Don't you know I'm already terrified of eating, because that already upsets Stomach? Now you have to make it physically painful to swallow too? You selfish little SOB. I guess you needed some attention too. 

So, dear Body, I ask you again, WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION?

Sincerely, 

I hate you right now. 

you're not reading this by accident

This is meant for you.

I wish you love.

I wish you joy.

I wish you happiness.

May you wake every morning looking forward to your day and put your head down every evening tired and satisfied.

Your life is too short to wonder what could have been. Instead, wonder, "What next?"

Be kind to the people around you and love them even when they make you mad.

Keep in mind that everybody is fighting some sort of battle.

Never go to bed angry.

Keep your head high and your standards higher. You deserve greatness.

Tip your servers and help them to have a better day.

Be gracious to the elderly.

Spread love.

Peace.

xo
Lucky