a letter to my body

Dear Body,

Seriously, what's your malfunction? 

I realize I don't always eat what I should, and I realize I don't always give you the right amount of sleep you require. I understand that you are currently dehydrated and "out of shape" so to speak, but come on now! I'm relatively healthy! There's no need to be cruel!

So I've been stressed out lately, so what? I've been stressed out before! There are some people who live with a constant level of stress in their day to day lives and they don't end up like me. Here I thought things were getting better and things were calming down, and then you decide to go and get all fucked up. REAL mature. 

I'm not 100% sure what's currently wrong with you, Stomach, but the doctor seemed to think it was gastric ulcers which may or may not be chronic. I've been taking the medication that was supposed to help me within a couple of days and as of a week later, they still don't seem to be helping. I wish you could just tell me what was wrong, Stomach. Not knowing what's really wrong is worrisome as the medication should be working. It only leads me to believe that there is something more serious or something completely different happening down there causing me so much pain. Why can't I figure this out? 

And on top of that, Throat you son of a bitch, YOU decide to get sore and make my voice sound all fucked up! Don't you know I'm already terrified of eating, because that already upsets Stomach? Now you have to make it physically painful to swallow too? You selfish little SOB. I guess you needed some attention too. 

So, dear Body, I ask you again, WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION?

Sincerely, 

I hate you right now.